bavani's colours: bavani's colours

I've always found beauty in colours. It's what I love most about nature, and wildlife and all that. Bright flowers in green trees. Light from the sun captured in water in the sky, forming rainbows. Black stripes dark against the brilliant orange stripes of tigers. Iridescent wings of huge, scary black insects. Clear rain water mixing with sandy soil to make chocolate-brown mud. Shiny gray dolphins jumping out of deep blue seas. White-blue Husky eyes. The contrast of the pure white and stark black of my cat's fur, and the clear, sharp yellow of his eyes. The same colours on mynas - yellow beaks, black bodies and white wing tips. The thick, rich red of blood that rushes through all of us.

These things are why I love colours. Colours make me feel calm. That's why I always paint my nails. People think it's because I'm insecure about my naked nails, but no. It's to remind myself of things that make me happy. When something upsets me, I can look at my nails and feel composed. When I look at my nails, there's nothing but my cat's eyes or a flower in a tree or the blood that's pumped through my lungs. Everything else fades. Nothing can make me unhappy when my heart still pumps blood and flowers still bloom and my cat still looks at me with love. I don't paint my nails to hide myself from the world. I do it to hide the upsetting things in the world from myself. The more troubled I am, the more colours I put on my nails.

I feel in colours too. I don't know it when I'm feeling them, but when I think back about times when I experienced strong emotions, everything's tinted a certain colour. Every emotion in every situation has a unique colour. Painting that colour on my nails or my eyelids is a way of releasing the emotion.

I hope you didn't expect this blog to be light-hearted fun, with manicures and makeup tips. Nothing about me is light-hearted. My heart is very heavy.

Here are some of my best expressions: