Yes, I've done it. I've painted my nails black. But don't worry, I'm not trying to repress any feelings. The absence of colour is just as significant as the presence of it.
So what does black signify? Rage. I've felt so much anger the past few days, and I didn't have any other way to express it. All I could do was paint my nails a thick, flat, powerful, unyielding black. That's the colour of my wrath.
But I didn't leave my nails just black, because my fury dissipated immediately. Which was what I was hoping for, actually. I felt so relieved that I didn't even bother taking a picture of my plain black nails for this blog. They looked so boring, you wouldn't want to see them, anyway.
As you have already seen, I added red glitter to my nails. Red is for desperation. That's the other thing I've been feeling lately. And all my life. It glows among all the dark thoughts.
I didn't file my nails to shape them before painting them. I didn't bother to cover my nails fully with polish or try to be neat near the cuticles. I slathered my top coat onto them sloppily and let the polish shrink and chip at the edges. I got them scuffed while scrubbing cats' dishes at the SPCA. They look dull and damaged and disregarded, which is how I'm feeling right now.
The feeling is passing, though. Come back to see how I feel next.
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